Monday, January 04, 2010

Courtesy Foot In Your Ass

Folks, when you call and ask to speak to me, I will need you to follow a rule: Courtesy credits are not insulting. And while we are on the subject, they are not negotiable any further than, "Yes, I'll take it," or, "No I'll pay the whole bill." Now, I am not a complete dickhead, and if the story of your plight somehow swooned me into entertaining the idea of giving you a credit to offset valid charges, I will be fair about it. I would not offer you a $.01 courtesy credit on $500 of overages. But, keep something in mind: The charges are valid. Either take the offer and reduce your bill, or decline it for whatever your sick demented reason for not wanting a lower bill is. But, don't come at me with, "Well $100 is nothing! I want more!" First of all, if $100 is nothing to you, then chances are you could pay this bill no problem, and perhaps I should be asking you for a courtesy credit. Secondly, I will tell you what $100 is: $100 less than what you will have to pay, so fucking take it or leave it. My favorite though, is when I suggest payment arrangements for the rest of the overage that my courtesy credit did not cover, and I get something like, "I don't need arrangements, it's not about the money. I can pay the bill." Fucking really? Here's my new courtesy credit offer, then: $0.
Posted by peanutbutterfilthy :: 8:36 PM :: 0 Comments:

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