Sunday, January 17, 2010

Ye Olde House of Trickery

Customers think that they are awfully clever. They come up with something all by themselves, and they freak out and try to trick me with it. Let me give you an example:

me: "Well, sir, since your phone is out of warranty, you can upgrade, or if you do not wish to extend your contract, you can pay retail for a new phone."

customer: "No, I upgrade all my phones at the same time. Can't you just, you know, send me a like new phone that is the same as this one, for free?"

me: "Well, sir that would be a warranty exchange. But as your phone is no longer covered under warranty, I can upgrade you, or if you prefer, you can buy a retail price."

customer: "Look, just send me a free phone with no contract."

me: "Sir, again, I cannot-"

customer: "Let me get your name."

me: "PBF."

customer: "So PBF, you are saying that you cannot do anything for me, right?"

Stop right there. No. I am not saying that. In fact, I mentioned a couple of options. But you are some crazy dickhead, and think that if you get my name, I will get all scared and shit, and start giving you inside secrets about the company and free shit so that you won't tell on me. Well, guess what shitbag, I've been doing this a long time, and while you have to bounce from carrier to carrier, because everyone gets tired of your shit and doesn't let you bully them around, I will be here providing service to the millions of other customers that actually understand how life works. Customers that don't need to be coddled to and have someone jerk them off whenever they want to feel good. So take that shit to Grasshopper Wireless or whoever. Kiss My Ass plan is only $29.99.
Posted by peanutbutterfilthy :: 12:18 AM :: 1 Comments:

Post a Comment