Monday, August 30, 2010

Following Instructions is for Chumps

I would like to conduct an experiment. Take out your cell phone and dial your carrier's toll free or three digit phone number to reach Customer Care. During the automated message, pretend like you are having a technical issue with your phone and route yourself to tech support. If the automated system did not tell you that you must be off of your phone to perform troubleshooting, then pay no attention to the following rant. For you see, my company's automated system (and likely every other one on the planet) does tell you that. So it begs the question, why the fuck do so many lunatics call in on their cell phones, hear that, and still continue? It is especially awesome when I ask if they are on the phone, and they say no. Caller ID confirming that they in fact are worthless pieces of shit liars calling from the phone, I always immediately ask them to take the battery and SIM card out of their phone, to see if they will commit to the lie and get disconnected, or admit that they are on it. Usually they tell me that they are on the phone, and ironically hang up on my hopes that the call will drop. A similar situation I come across is when a customer tells me that they can make absolutely no outgoing calls, and again, the caller ID on my desk phone reads, "Don't trust the liar!" Once again, "Please take out the battery and the SIM card." "But if I do that, we will get disconnected." Sigh. Why would you call on the phone you are having problems with knowing we will be troubleshooting? Let's me apply this logic in another scenario. I take my car to a repair shop. They tell me that they will need to work on the engine and to leave the keys with them. I reply, "No, I am going to drive it around town. Work on the engine while I drive the car." I just don't understand why people can't just do what they are supposed to do. They are only wasting their own time. See, as much as I hate talking to you, it's my job and I have to. You on the other hand, are out there in the world, lowering property value and eating everything in sight. Don't you want to be as productive as possible on this phone call and get back to eradicating any shred of evidence that humans are a respectable species? Too bad there isn't tech support for your dumb fucking head.
Posted by peanutbutterfilthy :: 9:43 PM :: 1 Comments:

Post a Comment