Saturday, November 21, 2009

And Now for Something Completely Different

So, I figured I would post something different. I will post 10 random shitty movies that suck balls, that for some reason I saw in the theatre. In random order:

1. Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol. Actually, I know why I saw that one. I thought (and still think) David Spade was funny and there was skateboarding in the beginning, and Tony Hawk and Lance Mountain or some other real skaters were the stunt doubles.

2. Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise. I will be straight up; hoping for some titties. There were none.

3. Disorderlies. You remember the Fat Boys? They were rappers. Fat rappers. Hence the clever name. No? Prince Markie Dee? What the fuck? Well, they put a movie out where they were care takers of some old white guy. I am not sure if this was the origin of the old white man-young black men comedy device, or what, but fuck did that movie suck.

4. Masters of the Universe. For those of you who have fond memories of this movie as being good, go to Wal-Mart, take it out of the the $2 DVD bin and buy it and watch it again. It is fucking awful and blasphemous to the He-Man saga.

5. Breakin'. Fuck yeah! Turbo and Ozone! Rich white girl, poor Puerto Rican and Black guy. What do they have in common? They are in some shitty West Side Story Remake! Oh, and they can dance. See, everyone is equal! I used to breakdance, and I had a piece of cardboard to do bacskpins on. So naturally I would see this.

6. Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo. Why would I have not seen the second one? Did you know that both these movies were released in 1984? Is that even legal?

7. Caddyshack 2. Shameful. Not even Chevy Chase could save it. Now Johnathan Silverman was in it, and I feel if Andrew McCarthy was in it with him, they could have saved it (see next entry).

8. Weekends at Bernie's. Now if you know me really well, you know my feelings about this movie. I have some bizarre love affair with it. I am fully aware that it is one of the dumbest movies ever. Completely retarded, implausible and poorly acted by most of the cast. But Andrew McCarthy and Johnathan Silverman are some kind of sorcerers. They are so fucking good together that I have watched this movie easily over 100 times. I have the entire script memorized. I used to say it out loud to myself while walking to school to pass the time.

9. Back to the Future 3. I could tell a time machine joke about going back in time and not making the movie, but that would be just as bad as making a part 4 to this franchise.

10. Johnny Dangerously. This movie was a complete mess. Just really not funny. And it was really broad humor that went out of it's way to try to be funny, but it was not. It kept insisting to me that it was funny. No, sir. It was not.
Posted by peanutbutterfilthy :: 9:11 PM :: 2 Comments:

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