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Tuesday, January 31, 2006 A Million Little Pieces I know the guy is catching flack, and deservedly so. But it really is a good read. If he had just called it fiction or "based on actual events," there wouldn't be any controversy. Oh well. I recommend reading it, but ignore that guy made a lot of stuff up. Just read it as fiction. 
I Found Him!!     Hey guys! I went back AGAIN to the pound where I got Dutch and there he was. I guarantee I have looked at at least 100 dogs lately and this is the one! He took my heart and started running, I don't think I will ever get it back either. The owner has until tomorrow to claim him and then I have a hold on him all day Thursday. If Lew is a good boy, he will go pay the money to adopt him for me on Thursday! He just acted so damn cool, look at the pic of him laying down. Anyway, needless to say I am just in love. I also know that if this is meant to be, he has no owner that is coming to pick him up tomorrow. He is 5mths old and a border collie cross, I have given him the name Bandy the Rodeo Clown. I hope he will be mine....
Monday, January 30, 2006 Loving You....... Is eaaaaaasyyy causeee yourrrrrr lovableeeeee! Yes, I sing strange songs to my superstinkalicious. The last pic is for Tia Kimmie. It is a little blurry.....sorry! Kim bought him these overalls. She is wants him to be a hillbilly. I refuse to let this happen. So, I paired the overalls with a Harley Davidson Onesie, a very stylish shoe on his right foot and a Wal-mart Hanes sock on his left foot......HaHa!    
Sunday, January 29, 2006 My Big Ass Mouth There is a story that only RLB knows, it goes like this... One of our good friends (I'll call him Jeff) who was a happy, single guy who always had his friends over and would come to his friend's houses became a family man. About the time I moved up here in 2000, Jeff had met this hag waitress (I call her Carne) while in Nevada at a test range. She had 4 kids all by different fathers (not that this is bad for most ppl) and Jeff, being nice, told her to move up with her consumers. The first time I met her, Jeff had a BBQ at his house to celebrate the moves. I brought fresh corn and salsa and asked her where I should put the corn, she replied with, "why dont you stick it up your ass". I about hit the floor and being nice and loving Jeff, I ignored her and continued to drink. There were many things to happen after that thus giving me the right to call her a bitch. I eventually went to work for him after he opened up his defense contractor business out of their home. I was there for three years and she made my life a living hell. At first, she was heavy into witchcraft and I don't mean the good kind. After that she decided to become a full fledged Jehovah's Witness. I would be in there doing my circuit boards and she (hating my guts) would come in there trying to get me to read the watchtower, wtf? Years of snide shit from her I will tell you.. Eventually Jeff let me go due to slow biz. I have never gotten my job back with him because of this snide hide and the other boss let me know this before I started school. I ran the office, made his circuit boards, put in the bids, dealed with the State Dept, etc. So Lew went to his house this afternoon to pick something up for the truck and I called him to stop at the store on the way home. He told me that Jeff had just been paid for his last pedestal gig and I was happy for him. I then mentioned that I bet that bitch was happy too and I guess I was heard by Jeff. Lew has a pda phone that is loud and I guess I was heard although I never hear anyone on the other end. Did I mention this is a money grubbing bitch that gets paid 600 a week to go shop and donate to her cult? I know she is using him and has ran all of his friends off with her obnoxious evil. Whew, sorry that was so long!!
The Dutch This is our other dog, Dutch. He is a pound rescue and learned this in 10 minutes! Powered by Castpost
Hello Hey. HEY! Someone give my penis attention!
Thursday, January 26, 2006 HNT Here is my contribution. 
HNT 
HNT 
Is this week over yet? It has been one of those weeks. I have not accomplished shit. Yesterday, I had a panic attack on my way to visit a friend of mine that lives about 20 miles from me. After I have one of these it completely drains me. My friend brings me home and he takes my vehicle back to his house. He is such a good little friend! Then my son gives me hell all night long. He even fell off the bed and bonked his head. He just could not get comfortable. Why does he need teeth anyway? So, I give up and take him into the living room. I lay blankets on the floor and that is where we sleep. At least, there was nothing to roll off of. Now, I am sore from having a panic attack and sleeping on ther floor. I have been having the craziest dreams this week. Last night Y and Early showed up. Early I must say......you are quite a large man and Y you are just so tiny and cute. I just could not understand why you would come to the Texas Panhandle for vacation. I made you some fajitas. Then I woke up. I also had a dream that I was pregnant. That could have caused me to die in my sleep. I remember telling the doctor that it was impossible due to the fact that I had not had sex in a couple of months. Yes, it is true, I have not had sex in a couple of months. I am really slipping up! Anyway, speaking of stinky asses (Y & Early can relate). I need to go change a diaper! It is time for him to start potty training. Hey, where is our first HNT post Miss Kimmie?
Wednesday, January 25, 2006 FFF What about Full Frontal Friday? Can we have that? I just want to show someone my weenis. And maybe my nugget pouch.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006 Buh Bye, Teach Well after getting feeling that my beloved teacher was going to leave, it came true. All the days absent from teaching, all the trips to Arizona, zipped lips with unanswered questions... Her last day is Thursday! We have no idea who in the hell we are getting, with our luck, she might be smelling of shit like Y's new housekeeper. Who knows, seems this month is all about change!
Video If anyone wants to see the video...you have to download quickplayer. Sheila and I have watched this video a hundred times. If you know Kim and I......it just keeps getting funnier!
Monday, January 23, 2006 Not only is he FINE The Media Missed this one!!!! Denzel Washington, and Brooks Army Medical Center Don't know whether you heard about this but Denzel Washington and his family visited the troops at Brook Army Medical Center, in San Antonio,Texas (BAMC) the other day. This is where soldiers who have been evacuated from Germany come to be hospitalized in the United States, especially burn victims. There are some buildings there called Fisher Houses. The Fisher House is a Hotel where soldiers' families can stay, for little or no charge, while their soldier is staying in the Hospital. BAMC has quite a few of these houses on base, but as you can imagine, they are almost filled most of the time. While Denzel Washington was visiting BAMC, they gave him a tour of one of the Fisher Houses. He asked how much one of them would cost to build. He took his checkbook out and wrote a check for the full amount right there on the spot. The soldiers overseas were amazed to hear this story and want to get the word out to the American public, because it warmed their hearts to hear it. The question I have is why does: Alec Baldwin, Madonna, Sean Penn ? and other Hollywood types? make front page news with their anti-everything America crap and Denzel Washington's Patriotism doesn't even make page 3 in the Metro section of any newspaper except the Local newspaper in San Antonio.
Sunday, January 22, 2006 The Video, Thanks Osbasso... Powered by Castpost
Sniglets Remember Sniglets? Here's some. If you don't know or remember, Sniglets were created by Rich Hall, and shown on Not Necessarily the News, then released in several books. A sniglet is anyword that doesn't appear in the dictionary, but should. Enjoy. Bovilexia (bo vil eks' e uh) - n. The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!" every time you pass a cow. Carperpetuation (kar' pur pet u a shun) - n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance. Choconiverous - adj. Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first. Idiot Box - n. The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves. Oopzama (ewp' za muh) - n. Sudden scratching of scalp or face upon realization that the person you were waving at isn't who you thought it was.
HNT After much contemplation and a few decisionless discussions, I have brought it upon myself to announce that 2GAAG will be doing . I think it will be fun as well as a great, "motivator" for other things... I have not discussed this decision with my co-pilots, but hopefully they will agree to join! I would love nothing more than to see PBF's skin, ahem!! I only have the concern of remembering to participate every Thursday as life sometimes gets in the way.I am also trying to post some silly ass video that RLB and I took during my last trip home, well actually she did not know she was taking video, that's the peach! If anyone has any ideas on how to do this with Apple Quick Time viewer, please let me know.... Ney, we still miss you and I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!
Saturday, January 21, 2006 Post I love Robin and Kimmie!
Friday, January 20, 2006 You Know You're From Texas When... You see more Texan flags than American flags. You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots. You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries. You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds. You dress up to go shopping at the mall. You've hung ornaments and tinsel on a tumbleweed and used it as a Christmas tree. You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor. You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken. You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards. You know what a 'Cowboy Cadillac' is. You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen. You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team" You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth. Your Pastor wears boots. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin. Your friend asks you "what kind of coke you want" and you say, "Dr. Pepper" The Blue Book value on your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Texas.
Post RLB told me this morning that one of us needed to post, I mentioned to her that I didn't have a damn bit of good news or anything worth blogging about. Australian Shepherd pups run anywhere from $500.00 to $900.00 around here and this is really bumming me out. What the hell happened to good old country people who bred these dogs and charged $75.00 for them? Now they are SHOW dogs and I don't need a show dog. I want an aussie that was bred to work cattle or donkeys or whatever he wants to work. Not some pedigreed line bred dog who's daddy is his brother and his uncle? Get it? If anyone knows of someone who breeds Aussies and has pups at a reasonable price (300 or less) please let me know. Hope you all have a great weekend!
Tuesday, January 17, 2006 Goodbye Old Friend  He's Gone... He died peacefully this evening, I love him and I will miss him.
Monday, January 16, 2006 Naz TX Part ?  I am not sure where to begin this!This adventure starts out with a BIG bottle of Rhine wine, one of my favorites! This was taken after many swigs and the first cup. The first picture was taken with my classmate that I have known since second grade. This was taken at my mom and dad's old feedyard in the office and I haven't been there in years!! The second pic is of course a tradition with Robin and I and that is the drunken self portrait! Notice the peaceful, easy feeling we have? The third picture is of the Statue of Nazareth! It was hand carved and is lit up at all times, seen best at night when you drive into Naz from Dimmit. Now on to what I did which shouldn't surprise any of you...... I proceeded to drink much after we got to the electrician's place and maybe there were other evil forces at hand, I couldn't say. The roofer shows up and I am able to maintain for about half an hour before it starts, you know the dizzness, the spinning, the puking! I spent the next three hours blowin chunks outside of Robin's vehicle and it was the sickest I have ever been. Ahhh, it was fucking terrible. I had dry heaves for 2.5 hours and the spinning just kept coming. I eventually went back in and started again, having missed a few visitors and probably some good stories, dammit! On the other hand, RLB maintained quite well while I was sick and came to check on me frequently. After I was well or better I should say, she got hers on and I drove us home at about 4:00 am. The next night consisted of a few beers, tequila shots, and the naming of the Dietz lantern that I gave the electrician.  
Sunday, January 15, 2006 Just trying to make Y & Early happy! I am leaving the next entry up to Kim. Come on........ask her what happened to her this weekend. I am sure she will post about it tomorrow. I wanna tell you people soooooo badly, but feel it is not my place. Kim is home and I am tired as hell. If I stay out all night...I don't get to sleep in. It usually takes me about a week to recover from a Kim visit. Kim you have the floor!
Thursday, January 12, 2006 Holy Smokes! Sheila and I were on our way to get our massages. Now, you people know we are hooked. We have waited 2 weeks for this and I wanted my ass massaged ..badly!! First, of all I need to tell you that we are under a MAJOR fire ban. So as we are getting closer to town we start noticing smoke. We know this is a bad sign. Normally this time of year the farmers are burning their stalks (from corn), but we knew it was not that because of the fire ban. FUCK!! We think. The closer we get the bigger it looks. We are now questioning whether we should stick around. This town has many explosive chemical plants.....that could go BOOM and wipe it off the face of the planet. Sheila was driving which worries me to no end. She is not good in emergency situations. She tends to start speeding (yes, she starts speeding) and trying to look at everything at once...AND DRIVE! Yes, I am nervous on the passenger side. Ok, it really wasn't that bad....she swears she had an escape plan. She would "haul ass and get us out of town and nobody better get in our way!" Now, I am really scared.....a fire looming over us and Sheila's threat of speeding through traffic. At this point we called our brother-in law (they live there) and ask what the hell is going on. He explains everything, plus the wind has shifted. Mother fucker the fire is even closer than we originally thought. So, we like a couple of sissy girls, decided to cancel our beloved massages appointments and burn rubber. First, we remembered we needed to go to the liquor store (who cares if the town is burning down around us.) Then we decided since we were at the light and already there that we should check it out. We took a right and went as far as we could and then took a side road and gawked. How many people have ever seen an out of control grass fire? We could see all emergency vehicles from many surrounding communities, planes flying overhead and tractors plowing up the dry grass. The fire is very close to an ammonia plant, cotton gin and grain elevator. Talking about flammable material. Only module trucks were getting through to remove cotton modules. We gawked for awhile and then decided to hit the liquor store and leave. As we are coming home we start noticing smoke that is very close to some of our father's land. We drive down the dirt road and see another field on fire. We called 911 and emergency vehicles were already on their way (our good duty for the day). We finally made it home and are now drinking and waiting for the whole county to burn down. Quote for the day. " I fell in to a burning ring of fire, I went down, down , down, and the flames went higher, and it burns, burns, burns...." Johnny Cash
On the road again I am fucking ecstatic! Tomorrow I get to go back to the Panhandle to party wif Robin!!! We are also going to Nazareth to hang out with the electrician and I anticipate a wonderful, fucked up time.....:)
Tuesday, January 10, 2006 PBF's 3 Things 3 things Three Names you go by: 1. Brian 2. Bri Dog 3. Bonez Three Parts of Your Heritage All Norse and British Three Things That Scare You 1. Heights 2. What happens after death 3. Drinking or eating something with LSD in it Everyday Essentials 1. At least 2 forms of breath freshener (today I had 3) 2. CD's for the car 3. Hair tie Three things that you Are Wearing Right Now 1. Jamma bottoms 2. Plain white T 3. An earring Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love) 1. Stability 2. Vagina 3. A stable girl with a vagina Two Truths and a Lie (in any order) 1. I've smoked crack. A lot. 2. I was on an episode of Will and Grace 3. I pulled a knife on my mother Three Things about the Opposite / Same Sex that Appeal to You 1. Sense of humor 2. Intelligence 3. Some kind of accent Three of Your Favorite Hobbies 1. Music 2. Video games 3. Movies Three Things You want to do really badly right now 1. Find another job 2. SEX! (it's been years) 3. Hang out with Robin and then maybe a little of #2, lol Three Places You Want to go 1. England 2. Austraila 3. Amsterdam Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die 1. Open a theatre 2. Have a play published/performed. 3. Open a restaurant Three Ways that you are stereotypically a Girl/Guy 1. I drink beer 2. I have a penis 3. I am obsessed with electronics
Monday, January 09, 2006 3 things Three Names you go by: 1. Mama 2. Robin 3. Bitch/slut/whore/asshole Three Parts of Your Heritage 1. German 2. Celtic 3. Kiowa 4. English 5. French 6. Sheila insisted I add the last two..........We are not mutts. It doesn't matter that we are decendants of a German bastard. I am not naming names here. Three Things That Scare You 1. Clowns 2. Death 3. Going back to jail.....Yes, I am stuck on this. Everyday Essentials 1. ponytail holder 2. toothbrush 3. flip flops Three things that you Are Wearing Right Now 1. jeans 2. shirt 3. Harley Davidson boots......oh yeah! Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love) 1. dick 2. penis 3. pecker Two Truths and a Lie (in any order) 1. I am a very loyal friend 2. I was the first LITTLE MISS HART......yes, it is true.........I am a beauty pageant winner......lol 3. I once sang a duet with Ozzy. Three Things about the Opposite / Same Sex that Appeal to You 1. personality 2. stability 3. pecker Three of Your Favorite Hobbies 1. cooking 2. music trivia 3. well, ok...drinking Three Things You want to do really badly right now 1. move 2. find a job 3. finish school Three Places You Want to go 1. Amsterdam With My Best Friend (hopefully we return) OH YEAH I AM THERE 2. Seattle 3. Oh hell I would go anywhere at this point..........I am in Hart. Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die 1. Raise my son 2. Finish school 3. Chase a tornado Three Ways that you are stereotypically a Girl/Guy 1. If I have make-up on I want it to be perfect. 2. I am obsessed with weight gain. 3. I have PMS and bitch alot!
Sunday, January 08, 2006 3 Things This one was fun, I would look forward to seeing yall's answers for this!! Three Names you go by: 1.Mamma 2. Kimmi 3. Kimbo Three Parts of Your Heritage 1. German (I love having German in me ;) 2. German 3. British, English or whatever you call it! Three Things That Scare You 1. Jehovah's Witnesses 2. Other Drivers 3. Terrorists Three of Your Everyday Essentials 1. My Jeep 2. Cell Phone 3. Kisses, I Love Kisses Three things that you Are Wearing Right Now 1. My Snowflake Jammy Bottoms 2. Favorite Raggedy T-Shirt 3. Flip Flops With Socks Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love) 1. Sex 2. Compatability 3. Intelligence Two Truths and a Lie (in any order) 1. I Have The Body of a Super Model 2. I Want to Meet a Sherpa 3. My Kitchen is Painted Burnt Orange Three Things about the Opposite / Same Sex that Appeal to You 1. Eyes 2. Voice / Dialect 3. Personality Three of Your Favorite Hobbies 1. Fishing 2. Dancing in a Tequila Induced Stupor 3. Archaeology (I have dug up some cool stuff) Three Things You want to do really badly right now 1. Be Closer to my Family 2. Graduate from College (July) 3. Give My Sixteen Yr Old Dog His Years Back! Three Places You Want to go 1. Amsterdam With My Best Friend (hopefully we return) 2. England 3. Germany Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die 1. Own a Big Cattle Ranch With Longhorns and Highlands 2. Contribute Tons of Money to Needy Causes 3. Go Deep Sea Fishing Three Ways that you are stereotypically a Girl/Guy 1. I Like to Flirt 2. I am Fickel 3. Sometimes I Like Pink and Purple Shit, Go Figure
Saturday, January 07, 2006 Bloody Wanker! My brother-in-law needs to go home...........he is really getting on my nerves :) When I say home I mean jolly olde England. He is bossy, stubborn and keeps throwing me out of the computer chair. I could kick is ass, but I do not want to upset my sister. Actually, I think she wants me to do it. He is obsessed with buying a GT-3000 and just won't give it up. He is on the verge of getting slapped back to jolly olde England. I am not kidding! As I am sitting here hearing the argument........I am waiting for the smack. I am planning on making Carlos's tortilla soup and we are anticipating a culinary delight. Now, for the champagne mishap. New year's eve we decided just to have a small get together at sister #2's house. I had to go home early so we decided to pop the cork around 9:30. As I was peeing.........I heard shouts of "OH MY GOD IT IS SPEWING EVERYWHERE." I exit the ladies room to find champagne spewed all over the kitchen. It was a gigantic bottle. My dad purchased it at Sam's and he always over does everything. The next day I go over to Sheila's house and she tells me to go and look at the kitchen ceiling. There is a large bright white spot and it required no scrubbing. Hence, champagne must be a good cleaning agent. Now, she wants to spew it all over the house. I am thinking bad idea! Update: BIL is still trying to get his ass kicked. It will be a fight till the death. I will let you know who wins.
Myspace OK I will try this again! The address to Myspace is Whistler. I hope that you are able to get it, I am not good at this http thing, I suppose! Rlb has an address there also, we need to get hers accessible, I might have done some stuff wrong on there as well.....
Thursday, January 05, 2006 Just a bunch of crap... A little of this and that: 1. I was sick Christmas eve and Christmas day! Talk about the holiday diet! 2. Last week all of my family was still here! 3. Kim came to see me. 4. I quit my job because my aunts are cunt licking bitches. 5. My aunts disguist me. 6. Now I am out for vengeance! 7. I have been painting and am very sore. 8. All of family finally left. 9. I basically didn't have to take care of superstinkalicious for almost 2 weeks. 10. It was a nice little vacation. I would like to thank my family for this. 11. I need a job. 12. Sister #2 thinks that champagne is a good cleaning agent and now wants it spewed all over her house........hmmmmmmm 13. I have been bored so I started DEEP cleaning sister #2's house. 14. Why did I do that? 15. I came very close to dotting my aunts eye. 16. I would have gone to jail for that. 17. I don't like jail. 18. Sister #1 had a blow out in Austin and a cop actually helped her. I find this shocking. 19. My computer has a virus! And last but not least: 20. Sister #2 accidentally (this time) locked her husband out of the house. On their fucking anniversary. He slept in the car behind the corn barn and was surrounded by coyotes. LMAO!!!!
Tuesday, January 03, 2006 This is cute! 
Sunday, January 01, 2006 Finally It's Over!    Well I finally made it back home! I had a wonderful vacation and it was good to see my family (well actually not my family but RLB's). We did alot of drinking of course and I am in much need of a break from that. Here are a few pictures from our trip to Nazareth, note the squinty eyes....... About our trip to Naz, we got ahold of our dear electrician friend and he had a hot tub party for us. Needless to say, we froze our asses off when it was time to pee, I don't know what the actual temp was outside. I venture to guess it was about 27 degrees or something! The pic of the man starting a fire with some flammable spray is our electrician friend, he is a man after my own heart because I am thinking he might be a pyromaniac!
Happy New Year!
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