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Thursday, December 29, 2005 Still Here Damn, I don't know what to say! Has been pretty much a whole hell of a lotta partying, well partying for me that is! Will try to get back with something real soon, see I haven't left yet and we haven't been to Nazareth, TX, so something is bound to happen. Hope the holidays are going well for you all! 
Wednesday, December 28, 2005 Apologies! Bollocks! We are hungover and have no creativity........SO BOLLOCKS! Love, Robin & Kim
Monday, December 26, 2005 Christmas Booty! No, I did not get laid. If that ever happens, watch out cause Death and Pestilence, et al will be riding thier horses all over the place. I had mad fun at the rents' house. I ate way too much and still took home half a pie, a pound of turkey and other assorted items. I got everything I asked for! I got Grand Theft Auto Liberty City Stories for my PSP, seasons 5 and 6 of Seinfeld, a book called The Areas of My Expertise (fucking hilarious), a very nice flannel robe, jammas, and nice work clothes. It was awesome. I gave my folks Van Goh and Monet pieces. How was your X Mass?
Sunday, December 25, 2005 Merry Christmas!  How could anyone call us evil? PS: My hips are really not this large. Sister #2 aka Truly Evil #2's hips are just exceptionally close together. This is my story and I am sticking to it.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas from 1 Girl and 7 Guys!! 
Merry Christmas Everyone!
Friday, December 23, 2005 Another ass story! We went to get our massages yesterday. Yes, we are addicted. Sister #1 (not to be confused with truly evil #1) is in and we gave her a massage for her birthday. Sister #3 backed out on us. I went first and told him about my knee and sciatic nerve fucking with me. Well, he massaged the shit out of my ass. My ass is so sore. It feels like someone frogged you hard in the ass. He hit one spot and I raised up off of the bed. My ass was one big knot! Anyway, so I finished and just like the first massage, I could not walk, focus, speak or breath. I was a complete noodle. Sister # 2 is next. She enjoyed her massage. Now it is sister #1's (who is paranoid) turn. Sister #2 and I leave to do errands. She and I could not walk, we were so relaxed. She even fucking locked me out of MY vehicle to force me to apologize for calling her an asswipe (because she made a stupid remark ) and found it to be quite amusing. She is one sick *bleep*.....lol Anyway, we go pick up sister #1, we pay and leave, before we even hit the vehicle she points her finger in the air and says "you better keep an eye on him" sister #2 and I look at each other. We ask her what the hell she is talking about.........well, he was massaging my ass and popping the sheet. He is not supposed to do this. I have had massages all over the world........sister #2 and I look at each other.......Sister #2 "all over the world you have only been to two places that were out of the country".....everyone laughs........Sister #1 says she has had many massages and knows they are not supposed to touch your ass.......we all know you are not supposed to pop the sheet.........although sister #2 and I had not experienced this......We both explain to sister #1 that we did not give a fuck if he is supposed to do it or not that as long as he did not touch two private areas on us or whip out his willy we didn't give a fuck if he was supposed to do it or not...... So what are everyone's thoughts? Is it proper for him to massage our ass (because it felt good)? PS. Sister #2 wants everyone to know that she did not get her ass massaged.
Asics Hooer Not that ya'll are interested in what tennis shoes I wear, but I devoted my entire life and many dollas to the Nike shoe up until this last summer. Nike this, Nike that, ONLY! Well I am proud to say that now I am a whore for Asics running shoes!! I bought my first pair this summer and they took me and the poop many miles up in them hills! I bought another damn pair today and they are the most comfortable shoe EVER!! So go buy a damn pair of Asics....
Wednesday, December 21, 2005 Pea Fucking Salad! My sister explaining "pea fucking salad" from a previous post and other ways I throw the word fuck into every day sentences! She listens way too closely when I am talking.......which before you can even say it Sheila......I am always talking! I needed to add some things to Sheila's original comment on Taco Cracker! Comments in purple is what I would have added. I need to really clean up my mouth!:) SHEILA SAYS! Ok I'll explain. Pea Salad is English peas, shredded cheese, lettuce, onions and hard boiled eggs Chopped Dill Fucking Pickles, lettuce is optional and mayo. Mix all together, chill and serve. Delicious.Now the fucking part comes in because RLB uses the "F" word like most people use "if", "and", "but" and "the". For example, she is telling me what to bring to the upcoming family Christmas gatherings:1. On Christmas Eve you bring the red fucking beans.2. On Christmas Mother Fucking Day you bring the broccoli fucking casserole (or - broccoli casser-fucking-role - depending on her mood.Other examples:I have to go to the post fucking office/grocery store OR The fucking bastard was tail fucking gaiting me and I fucking slammed on my fucking brakes.Hope this clears everything up!
Tuesday, December 20, 2005 Don't Say No So myself and another manager were talking at work tonight. We were discussing my fear of rejection. I have never, and will never, just walk up to some girl in a bar or wherever, and be all like, "Hey. I am PBF, what is your name?" I have no skills in that department, and even if I did, I would not use them. I am so afraid of rejection, it is retarded. The manager I was talking to suggested that this is why I have mad plays and other works that I have written that have not been submitted for publication or performance. I was like, "Damn. That makes sense." Does anyone have advice for me to help me get over this phobia?
My Instructor is Gone? A couple of days ago, I posted on stressing out about my finals coming up and now it looks like we might not even have them at all... My teacher didn't show for class on Monday or today and her phone number has been disconnected! The other code instructor has been coming down to our room these last two mornings and giving us the choice to attend her class or to stay in our room alone. We have been cramming for these exams so we all decided to stay put detouring some shit called terminology bingo that her class is doing. I am beside myself, I have paid some ungawdly amount of money to go to school here and dammit I demand some explanation!! Rumor has it that she was seen at the mall lastnight, I don't know. On top of this, there are two girls in my class that show up about once or twice a week and expect the ones like me, that are there every damn day, to provide the answers for all of their work! I have crammed three chapters in two days, doing grueling work, only to find out that these two were copying the answers off of my work that I had turned in! Derelicts!
Sunday, December 18, 2005 Taco Cracker 
Friday, December 16, 2005  I hope you all can read this!
Thursday, December 15, 2005 PBF Claus Tiff and I took some gifts to clients today. It is cool to meet the clients face to face. And of course, it is nice to get out of the office for 5 hours. At one point we were in the ghetto. I mean ghetto with a capital crack rock. Every block, was like check cashing places, old stores that you are not sure still exist. At one point we passed a Church's Chicken, which I assume was the capital of ghetto town. I being a former drug user having copped off the street, am comfortable being in these neighborhoods. Tiff on the other hand is not. But, being the comedian that I am, I made it fun. Probably the funniest thing we saw was not 1, but 2 posters for a Martin Lawrence movie that came out last year. It said coming in July. I wanted to stop and get a 40oz, but I did have to go back to the office, so that was out. But we did go to Famous Dave's for lunch. MMMMMMMMMM. I had ribs and chicken. I know you were all dying to know what I ate. And another thing. If you are lonely and desire attention, go to Costco, or whatever is your local wholesale club, and buy 30 of the same item. I swear, Tiff and I could work marketing for this place. Every damn shopper was like, "OOOOOH! What are those, how much are they?" Dude, they're fucking Chrismas gifts. Fuck off. Merry... I mean...Season's greetings!* *PBF does not wish to insult those of other religions that do not celebrate Christmas, ergo the uni-theological wishes. You damn heathens.
Busy as Hell  Hey all! Hope you all are well and have done most of your Christmas shopping. I am trying to break my procrastinate ways this year and so far I am doing ok. I have a very busy week ahead because I have med term finals and will be trying to cram for a seven chapter final, yuck! On a funny note, my boyfriend picked me up from school the other day and to my surprise, he had a damn unicycle in the back of my yeep. WTF????? I don't know what has gotten into this dude. He mentioned that it was just something that he needed to do before died and that everyone surely has always had a hankerin' to learn to ride a unicycle. He gets home and spends the rest of the evening using last years pogo sticks to try to get some balance. I can think of a few things he needs to be working on besides this........
Tuesday, December 13, 2005 Massages and pheasant! Yesterday I went and got a massage! I swear it completely rocked. It was not my first, but it was my best one ever! My sister also got a massage. Both of us were completely useless. It took me like five tries to get my right arm into my jacket. We couldn't even think straight. I mean this guy was incredible. I would rather have a massage from him than sex.......anyday. That is just how good he is. He better be glad he is married I would be stalking him. Next Thursday when everyone is in for Christmas all four of us (sisters) are going to get one. I am thinking we should turn it into a cocktail/massage party! I had a great weekend! A friend came into town to pheasant hunt and I drove him around all day Saturday and Sunday. I just got tore the fuck up Saturday. It was one of those all day drunks. I spilled like 4 beers on me and ripped of a guys rearview mirror trying to look at my hair...lol Good thing these people like me!! Anyway, I have not had a day like that in along time so it was really nice plus I had not seen my friend in a couple of years. He got a couple of pheasant and quite a few quail. Everyone us happy people this weekend.
Saturday, December 10, 2005 Wreck of the Century   This was taken in about 1986, the year RLB and I wrecked my precious car! It was my first car and I bought it with my own money. I showed sheep in 4-h and FFA and then sold them at the auction and saved for years! It happened on a day that I got this really stinky perm in my hair and then proceeded to stand up this albino cowboy dude from Plainview! I went to RLB's house and told her to ass up the car and go get a pizza with me for girl's night at home. As much alcohol as we consumed at that time, we were both very sober. Some dumbass ******** from ********* ran us off the road and we landed in a sugar beet irrigation ditch, upside down. Those wankers left the scene and luckily Mrs. Hart herself was home to help us. Robin's dad went after them with a gun and that was the end. The ******* DPS said there was nobody that ran us off the road, I beg to differ! I would love a post from RLB on this picture!
Friday, December 09, 2005 Correction That pic of me was not taken in 2002, it is on a 2002 calender. I was a senior in high school, so it was either 94 or 95.
Thursday, December 08, 2005 Katrina Pets in Need of Rescue! Sorry to interrupt the 80's big hair party, but I have important information for you! I finally went to the disaster pet rescue site for the pets left behind and they have over 10, 000 animals that need temporary foster homes! I know not everybody loves animals the way I do, but if you have the means to help these animals out fora little while, please go to the site and sign up. I plan on it. There are anything from cats, dogs, farm animals, to horses. They even have a Clydesdale. Here is the site: Disaster Pets
PBF in Tux  Sorry for the quality, my Dad couldn't find the original. Aside from baby pics (which you will never see), this seems to be the oldest pic on a pc that I have. It is from 2002. There. I contributed.
70's and 80's Here are some really crappy ass looking photos because we are just lazy! I have some great ones from the 90's but I cannot get them to even look decent enough to post. I will keep trying. In the spirit of the 80's I have also posted my sister's senior pictures!  Me at maybe 3......1976  Me in the early 80's. I have no idea what is up with my eye and mother must have cut my hair judging by the butch job on my bangs.  Sista #1 1980  Sista #2 1981  Sista #3 1983 and I have already posted mine!
Tuesday, December 06, 2005 74 & 78?  I would have made an excellent Jehovah's Whitless because I was afraid of the real Santa Claus!! 
Monday, December 05, 2005 1985   These were taken in 1985 at a horse show in Earth, TX. The little gentleman in the saddle with me is my little brother, Jeff. This is my favorite of us together! Most of the 80's pics I have are to do with horses because this is all I did, all the time (with the exception of heavy drinking when I wasn't at a show). This would also be around the time I started corrupting RLB!!
Sunday, December 04, 2005 80's &90's Picture Week I have threatened to do this and well I have decided that I will make this week officially 80's & 90's pictures week. I need PBF and RLB to post their 80's &90's pics as well. I am not kidding! You are absolutely free to post whatever comments you wish as long as they are not too malicious to us three. Hell, I am just going to put in a request that all of our blog circle (or square) post their pics from the 80's and 90's!This would mean alot to me and I think it would be fun... Enjoy!!
The year was 1991!  Favorite Band: Guns n' RosesFavorite Song: Fly High Michelle Favorite Color: Black Favorite Food: Big Mac and fries Favorite Drink: Anything alcoholic and Big Red Favorite Pastime: Listening to LOUD music, riding around and talking on the phone. Favorite Place: Red River, NM Favorite Person: Sebastion Bach Favorite TV Show: Headbangers Ball...does that count? Sorry for the shitty quality of the pic. It is the best I could do!
I almost peed my pants doing this!   Girl,this had to be done and yes, I know you will pay me back for this.
Friday, December 02, 2005 Big Hair  Ok, Carlos asked if I would be a "peach" and post a pic of my big hair. This is the biggest hair pic that I can find. I will look around and try to find a big ass hair pic of RLB as well! Don't worry, girl, I will ask your approval before I post it!!
A few fire stories. Fire---where to begin? Like Y, I also used to have very long hair. Every single time I went to a bar some idiot would burn the back of my hair. I automatically knew that if someone started slapping my back they had burned my hair. If the sons of bitches weren't walking on my heels this would not have happened. Then there was the time I could not get the lighter to work. When it finally did (in Carlos's words) it was a flame thrower. This happened in a car. The flame was so high it touched the roof. The driver of the car proceeded to slap me on the forehead about 300 times. Lord the list goes on and on, but enough about me. Let's talk about Kim. Kim and I had gone out one night to the little German community down the road. This was the first time I had ever been drunk. Not Kim's.....mine! She was a seasoned veteran by this time. Anyway, we go to a party. Which I still swear a guy was walking around in his underwear. We decided to leave and go to a party in our hometown. I remember Kim driving down the road at warp speed, driving into the ditch and laughing hysterically. Then I think I took a short siesta. We arrived at our destination, Kim parked horizontally in the street. We get out of the car and she runs up to everyone........all happy to see them and shit! Everyone is standing around this barrel that they had built a fire in....you know for heat. She stumbles and starts falling head first toward the barrel. About 20 guys manage to catch her at the very last second. Keep in mind this was back in the big hair days and her hair was freaking big. I mean an entire can of hairspray big. So her hair was extremely flammable. She survived with minor hair injuries. Moral of the story: alcohol, hairspray and Kim do not mix.
Pigs-I have good reasons for not liking them! I am sure everyone has seen this, but it is still funny! Anyone that knows me knows that I think most cops are pretty much useless! If any of our readers are officers of the law I apologize. NEVER SAY TO A COP 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3.Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Office r! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too! 10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does. 11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around... That's how far ahead of me they are. 12. When the Officer says "Gee .Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Thursday, December 01, 2005 Chrismas List Part 1 Here are just a few things or people that I want for Christmas! 1. Some new boots with a 3" heel (black or brown with tread) 2. Lalique perfume from Neiman Marcus (yeah right) 3. Five weeks of 1988 and maybe a few weeks of 1986 as well 4. An all expense paid trip to Jamaica with all of our blogger friends, Robin, and Jerri 5. Fuzzy ear muffins and house shoes 6. New snow tires for my Jeep 7. Sid Vicious, alive, and holding a bottle of Patron 8. A cat door for Samuel (Sammy) Howard the cat 9. Every person and animal, on the face of this earth, to have enough food and plenty of shelter to last a lifetime Now I am sure I will get some of these things and I am not kidding... 1. a new set of snow chains 2. some weird battery charging chingus 3. another flashlight for my Jeep 4. something that Lew wanted for Christmas 5. a new 4 way for my lugs 6. a tow strap or two (that was for Valentine's Day the year before last) 7. uhmmm let's see, oh! some old man pajamas
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